libertus

King Henry’s Top 10 iPod Tracks

Posted on Tue, 30th May 2006 at 12:00 under Humour

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King Henry VIII would have loved the iPod. Some speculate Henry would have gone so far as to have had a custom iPod codpiece made to hold his. There is little speculation as to what Henry’s favourite tunes would have been.

King Henry VIII’s Top 10

10. The First Cut Is The Deepest
9. I Will Survive
8. 50 Ways To Behead Your Lover
7. I Go To Axtremes
6. Lay Your Head In My Arms
5. Roll With It
4. Lazy Head
3. It’s So Funny, How We Don’t Talk Anymore
2. I Fought The Pope And The Pope Won

1. If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body Would You Hold Beheading You Against Me?

Ali is responsible for half of these. Thank him!

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11 Responses

Ali said: May 30th, 2006 at 23:27

I’m not taking any responsibility for my share as I came up with them at 3.30am after a trying night fighting with iDVD in order to put together a wedding photo DVD for some friends who recently got married. Paul was fresh after a good noghts sleep so he has no excuse.
Reply
Libertus said: June 1st, 2006 at 16:25

Ali,

Shirking your responsibilities again!? All down to lack of sleep, huh? Well, I suppose that’s the choice; beauty sleep or intelligence. Hey ho.

By the way, this comment is a test for my all-new, all-singing, all-dancing anti-spam system, known as “human”.
Reply
Ali said: June 1st, 2006 at 23:06

Okay, so what is human? How is it stopping spam? Do tell….
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Libertus said: June 2nd, 2006 at 00:16

Ali,

If I tell you, I’ll have to kill your gerbil. What’s your gerbil worth?

PS: Switch off stylesheets for more details. Humans cannot spam. They don’t have the patience. Only computers can spam.
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Ali said: June 6th, 2006 at 05:01

While I believe that my gerbil will someday be priceless, for the moment it is worth on average around 6 quid (The current going rate from PetsMart). This is due to my not currently owning a gerbil. If one day I purchase a gerbil it shall be called Gerrald and the value of the aformentioned gerbil shall start to rise at a rate of 50% per day due solely to my ownership. I estimate that just before he sucks his terminal breath, his value will be such that he will in effect be priceless, in that no one could afford the pricet tag.
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Libertus said: June 6th, 2006 at 09:27
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Ali,

OK, I think I understand. I’ll tell you about the anti-spam measures. As this will help me get the ideas straight in my mind, I’ll relieve you of the duty to sacrifice your first-bought gerbil.

First, I shall define spam.

What Is Spam?

“Spam” is any message deliberately sent by any person using a computer program other than those intended to be used to send messages to a particular computer system. Simply, spam is a form of computer misuse and computers can only be misused by people.

I am not spamming if I use a normal email client to send a commercial message to 150 people on my mailing list. I am spamming if I use a specially designed program to send the same message to the blogs of the same 150 people.

In the first instance, I am using a computer program for its designed purpose. In the second instance, blogs present a messaging interface for humans that is not intended to be used with automated sending programs.
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Libertus said: June 6th, 2006 at 10:21

What Is A Spammer?

Spammers are things that deliberately misuse other people’s computers by sending information to them automatically by program using interfaces intended for manual use by people. Spammers come in two forms; human and machine, the latter being most common.

Although machine spammers are the most prolific form, they are not the dominant. It is unfair to refer to a computer as a “spammer” because it is just doing its job, like it is unfair to prosecute a soldier for obeying illegal orders. Someone else gave the order, and by process of following the chain of gifts, the original giver is revealed as the actual source of the attack.

For my purposes, a “spammer” is a general in charge of a mechanised infantry launching repeated and sustained attacks against my computer systems. Like all generals, they are lazy, preferring the impregnable safety of their strategic bunker to the tactical messiness of the front-line. That is their weakness.

Effective armies comprise more than foot-soldiers and a general.
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Libertus said: June 6th, 2006 at 14:20

Incidentally, I just had my first spam message since activating the pro-human anti-spam system. One in 5 days is good, depending on how many attempts have been made.
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Ali said: June 10th, 2006 at 06:03

Okay, so what is this brilliant piece of code you have created to prevent this mechanised army from storming your battlements?
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Libertus said: June 10th, 2006 at 07:18

<input name="submit" type="submit" id="submit" value="I’m a Spammer" style=’display: none;’/>
<input name="human" type="submit" id="human" tabindex=’5′ value="Submit Comment"/>
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nobby the bull said: July 4th, 2006 at 12:11

Im suprised not to see guns ‘n’roses frontman AXE’l tudorROSE in there.
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King Henry’s Top 10 iPod Tracks

King Henry VIII’s Top 10

11 Responses

What Is Spam?

What Is A Spammer?

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